Mum, there must be a reason why you were so loved, wonderful lady with the beautiful green eyes. Is it because, once long ago, you were kissed by the Beloved? Yes, that must be it. So you knew what REAL love is, and that current of love flowed unencumbered into everyone. Through your life, you touched so many. Your kindness, Empathy and Tenderness, knew no bounds. Your lovely presence was like medicine. Your gaiety and joyfulness, and oh, that Sweet, Sweet Smile! It was like the sun. But Mum, I know why ‘I’ loved you so much, beautiful lady. If I could put the Splendour of you into words, I would say ….. “Mum, you were the Light of my Life and will be for all Eternity. You were truly like an Angel living upon this Earth. You always said we would be together for ever and ever. Now I can go running through the streets, shouting. ‘Love, Love, Love,’ Because I have known One who embodied pure love. And she was you, my darling Mum. And You have melted into my heart completely for Ever and Ever and Ever. And look what happens with a love like that, it lights up the whole sky.”

There is not enough time for me to say all I want to say about my marvellous and wonderful Mum. It would take days. She was the kindest most loving person to everyone she came in contact with. She was a marvellous mother, grandmother, great grandmother and wife to my dear departed Dad. She was always smiling and kind to everyone whose life she graced. She never learned to drive, never used a mobile phone or computer and never swore, not even once. She was a ray of shining light to everyone she touched. Basically, she just thought of everyone except herself. Many was the time I looked at her bank statements and saw yet another charity both at home or worldwide that she had added another standing order to donate money too. Like I said, her family, friends and everyone she met always came first. She was the archetypal human angel. When dementia took over so strongly she still retained her dignity and kindness and always thanked and appreciated the wonderful carers who looked after her. She was always so pleased to see me with her “Oh my Son” greeting then continued to call me “nurse” or “doctor”….We lost a lot of the wonderful person she once was but her radiant essence of love and kindness always prevailed. You are at peace now Mum. We will terribly, terribly miss you. Rest in Peace my dear Mum.

I think the name Gurney was born through my inability to pronounce the word Grandma until aged 19, but it is the name that stuck, and I don’t think either myself, or my sister Oona, ever called her anything other than Gurney for the 50ish years of our existence. Our relationship with Gurney and Grandad, Zena’s parents, was a beautiful one. In my younger years, I spent a lot more time with my Grandad. While Grandad and I played football in the park or went shopping in toyshops and sweetshops. I was never really sure what Oona was doing with Gurney, some kind of girly stuff, or complaining about what us boys were doing, playing in the mud, buying toys, and getting high on sugar. Zena and Gurney have always had one of the closest and most beautiful mother daughter relationships I have ever witnessed. In later years, I was to understand where the solidarity came from, but as a youth, I used to find their partnership a bit annoying. Gurney would always take Zena’s side when I was a nasty disrespectful son, or Oona’s side when I was a brutish big brother. Grandad spent a lot of his time in the betting shop or smelling the house out with Garlic and spices, while Gurney kept the household immaculate and tried to tame the exotic odours with flowery smelling stuff. She was always full of smiles and love, always looked amazing, and was always as sweet as could be. I have not spent a huge amount of time in the UK for the past 25 years, Grandad passed away quite some time ago, and from that moment Zena and Gurney began to spend more time together. Zena was determined that these twilight years would be some of the best in her mother’s life. They enjoyed trips to the theatre, pretty parks, shops, and anywhere where they could laugh, sing, and make merry together. I think Zena made a great success of ensuring they shared as much fun and love as was humanly possible. The early days living at the home were as upsetting as they were essential. But in time, it became home. She was deeply loved by all the staff, it was plain to see on every visit. I spent a significant time with her during my visits back to the UK each year. I treated each visit as though it may be my last, but she was always the same, full of life, smiles, and praise. She loved to laugh so I spent most of my time telling her rude jokes, or pretending we were going to go shoplifting in the local shop, or maybe have scuffle with the skinny young guy visiting his gran in the room next door. On one of my last visits in 2021, I asked Gurney how old she was now, she and without hesitation she said proudly “sixteen”! She then went on to tell me of how tired she was that day due to all the activities they had her doing in the home. I asked what activities she had to do, “Cricket, fencing, boxing …”. She then went on to say with certainty that she was “Top of the class” in each of them. That is how I like to remember her, as a young beautiful and caring grandmother and mother, not only to Zena but also to Uncle Dave – who she doted on equally and was often seen tapping her toe and jigging away to his guitar solos in an array of pubs in Devon. And as the 16-year-old living happily in the body of a 100-year-old lady who had seen and lived through so much, who had loved unconditionally, and who was breath of fresh air and a blast of sunshine to all those who knew her on a daily basis. I am sure you are all gathered here today in uplifted spirits in celebration of the life of a wonderful woman, whose empathy and compassion radiated its way into so many people’s lives for over a century. Good bye Gurney, keep smiling, keep laughing, and say hi to Grandad for me! And may you both rest in Peace! I’ll never forget your everlasting love! Until the next time … Jake